Couple Therapy Videos
What to expect.
See video
The following videos are pieces of a simulated session that illustrate customary uses of the Dialogue Technique, with each member of the couple taking a turn. Actors improvised being a couple, Rachel and Thomas, with surprisingly accurate portrayals, and Dr. Frankfeldt conducted the “session” as she normally would. The Dialogue, a structured format, automatically enables partners to take turns and to be heard, thereby circumventing the characteristic frustrating go-nowhere argument people are only too accustomed to having. As each person is designated as having his or her turn, the usual heat is greatly modulated so that the speaker can think and breathe and say new, deeper thoughts and feelings, and the receiver is asked at the time only to listen and feed back what s/he heard, knowing that his/her turn will also come.
- The Appreciation Dialogue: often a session is begun (once the couple has been coached by Dr. Frankfeldt in how to do the Dialogue), with each taking a turn voicing an appreciation of the other, which the other “mirrors” back. This can help bring to the surface positive feelings the partners have for each other that have been sustaining them through whatever troubles they are now bringing to treatment. People often surprise themselves and the other by becoming aware that these feelings still exist, which fosters an atmosphere that feels safer in which to open up hurt feelings that are being harbored.
See the video - The Frustration Dialogue and the Behavior Change Request (BCR): Each partner has a turn to express a frustration that will lead to a behavior change request aimed at relieving that frustration. The therapist sets the guidelines for how the frustration is expressed so that the recipient does not feel attacked. A crucial part of therapy is helping partners progressively master these communication skills, and this learning is an ongoing process and focus of healing for both people. Another aspect of healing is the work of helping the one making the request to put into words something s/he wants, rather than simply voicing a complaint.
- Visit my Relationships Blog
Thomas' Frustration Dialogue
Thomas' Behavior Change Request
Rachel's Frustration Dialogue
Rachel's Behavior Change Request